Another in the series The Misadventures and Sagas of Mountain Man “DC”

or

‘The Fable Of Goldilocks & The Two Bears.’

Now, children…are you sitting comfortably…???

7/17/2007 10:50:57 AM

I had to come on the BBS & share this little incident that just transpired… There I was, standing in the kitchen, doing what most rock singers do when they ain’t touring & posing… rinsing a cup, or two at the kitchen sink, as his wonderful housekeeper is on her hols… windows wide open on this beautiful, balmy Tahoe day… when who pops up to say a surprising good morning… a HUGE black bear!… Out of nowhere!… Beautiful!… I don’t mind telling you I almost succumbed to involuntary bowel movement, I swear… Obviously the poor bugger was looking for food & was most intent on finding some in my modest ‘Bide A Wee’ pantry!… Sorry, O Great One, says I & slowly, carefully closes the kitchen window feeling his/her breath on my hand…& then proceeding to run around closing all access doors & windows… while my persistent new furry pal explored all the potential avenues to enter my stately cabin by the lake… I’d like to think it was the smell of my fab cooking that seduced him/ her… but, it was only a slightly charred bagel!… Man… what an experience… Lovely… just lovely… I’m leaving the pawprints, muddy tho’ they may be, to show the Missus & whomever stoppeth by… Amazing…

Learn all about the Black Bear of the Sierras here

This is what Wikipedia says about them

7/18/2007 11:23:53 AM

In response to some suggesting I may be behaving somewhat cavalier about these incidents, please don’t ever consider that I am frivolous in any way about the safety & well being of my Family, they are & will always be, the most important people in my life, for whom I would do anything to protect… I am aware that when I made the decision to live in such an exceptionally beautiful natural environment that there would be inevitable risks involved… Fires… man-made or naturally caused… are out of our hands when they start… & I am particularly aware that I am living in what was & is the natural habitat for many wild animals… furry, feathered & leather trousered!… Bears are often seen wandering around my gardens & in the neighborhood… along with deer, rabbits, squirrels & chipmunks… ( who, I’m told, can give you a rather nasty nibble, too…)… Oh… & mustn’t forget the ever present wily coyotes… This is a normal, everyday occurrence… What was unusual was the bear coming right up to the window as they are usually avoiding us as we respectfully steer clear of them… So… for us, this is an acceptable trade-off to co-exist in this mountain paradise… I hope you understand… God Forbid anything untoward happens, but, we try to keep our sensibilities about us & hope nothing tragic happens… I absolutely appreciate your concerns, but, we love how & where we live & truly accept the circumstances… besides… he/she was absolutely beautiful to see & I treasure the experience…

7/26/2007 9:42:08 AM

Well, well, well… Greetings from Lake Tahoe… So… our ‘Adventures in Bearsville’ continue… Since the first encounter, we’ve had another unwelcome ‘visit’… Doug found lots of bearprints all over the 2nd deck of the house outside his room… so, of course, we took every precaution the local authorities recommended… spraying Pinesol all around the doors & winds, etc… also sprinkling cayenne pepper all over the bloody place… and then what happens… he/she rips down a screen door & gets in the house!… Pawprints & damage all over the living room… We were recording down in the studio, ( on the ground floor )… but, Jaz & Cindy were on the 2nd floor heard a crash upstairs & ran down to get me… I raced upstairs, making as much noise as possible, air horns blasting… ( they work very well for a short time… & I thoroughly recommend anyone living in a similar environment stock up on some…)… By the time I got upstairs, he/she had buggered off… leaving a refrigerator door open… & trail of dirty pawprints & empty fruit cup containers… Nice… all over the white carpet!!!… So, today will be doing all we can to try & prevent this from happening again… Still… I can’t blame them… it must be like us going to the market for provisions!… Only we’re paying for their ‘shopping’… Ha Ha!!!… Looking back over the events from last night, Timothy, Doug, Cindy & I were reliving some of the ‘funnier’aspects… ( well, there are always moments of fun, when you reflect on a scarey episode, one hopes! )… When I feel more relaxed I shall regale you with more anecdotes… OK… back to patrolling the perimeter… What a bloody nuisance… the trade-off continues… tho’ this has now been taken to another level of concern…

7/26/2007 6:11:36 PM

We are currently being outfitted with the most amazing array of alarms… ( not that we weren’t alarmed to the max before…)… but, this stuff ties in kleig lites… motion detectors… ‘scarecrow’ sprinklers… etc… etc… I swear tonight this place is gonna look like Stalag Luft 17!!!… ( no disrespect intended…)… We have a veritable armoury of pepper spray… air horns… Now, as the Sun is slowly sinking we will be locking down the house… Unfortunately, it is likely the bear will return… as he has already gained access, according to the authorities… but, until the local Fish & Game guys get their traps together, which is probably tomorrow… we are taking as many precautions as we can… It is very likely that the current upsurge in bear activity is related to the many fires we have had in our area… many are relocating… ( sensibly, I’d say )… to places seemingly less compromised… Oh, well… Cindy is in LA for a seminar… Timothy, somewhat surprisingly finished ALL his work at least 2 days earlier than we anticipated…& has buggered off home!… NICE ONE, TD!!!… He performed admirably, as you will hear once we finish the project… but, I can say that EVERYONE has done themselves proud!… God Willing, the bear will move on… otherwise he/she will have to be relocated…This cannot continue like this, as you can imagine…

7/26/2007 6:56:21 PM

Doug is still in residence, armed with the appropriate weapons… Tonight we’re watching the movie 300 to give us extra balls!… The bear has changed the tone of the scenario with his natural behavior… however, my sentiments remain the me… Extra precaution until this is resolved… OK… that’s about it… time to batten down the ol’ hatches… DOUG… JAZ… LOCK & LOAD, DUDES night is falling… Jeez… this is like being in a movie!!!

7/31/2007 8:00:07 PM

I just stopped by to assure everyone we’re all OK…Many tales to tell my grandchildren… it’s been a rather distracting week, to say the least… This is a bear that simply won’t give up… At least now we have the attention of the ONE bear guy in the entire state of Nevada… so, hopefully, we will reach a hopefully ‘relocated’ resolve… Not us… the bear!… OK… time to set the alarms…

7/31/2007 8:00:56 PM

I’m in a fortress at Lake Tahoe!

8/1/2007 5:35:56 PM

It appears we have a very real problem…This was a different, much bigger bear… I estimate 450 pounder… He broke into the swimming pool… took a swim… cool as you like… broke out thro’ another window… broke into a guest bedroom… fortunately the guest who was staying with us, one of Cindy’s girlfriends, left this morning, but, unfortunately, left the sliding glass door open… This is where the bear broke in… I was in my office on the same floor, thank God, when Jaz burst in saying he’d heard something in the indoor pool area… I paged the house for my assistant Mikey, grabbed an air horn canister, & ran out of my office just as the bear’s head came out of the room… Jesus, he was big!… I ran toward him screaming coarse, Anglo Saxon invective, ( more Yorkshire, actually )… firing off the air horn & thankfully, shocked the buggery out of him… He turned & scarpered out the way he came… I chased him into the garden & saw his size… OMIGOD!… Thank God he ran off… no way was I gonna wrestle this bugger!… Anyway… we had a SWAT team over to go thro’ the house & gardens just checking everything out… Apparently, there is a great deal of bear activity in the area… more than ever… Unfortunately, they are coming down from higher ground for water & food…after all, this was/is their environment, so, I can understand… Once humans move in… that’s when potential tragedy can occur… The fires, the hot weather… coupled with a relatively modest previous Winter, we now have somewhat of a drought, the bears have no choice but, to come closer & closer… We now have a big bear trap in the garden… Man, this is surreal… We are still in MAJOR lockdown at the ole Coverdale Res… For some reason, I don’t think these guys care for rock… I have been trying to record for the last 3 days… & something happens to prevent me!… Maybe they’re Duran fans, or something!

8/2/2007 10:01:13 AM

Relatively peaceful night…Right now the gardeners are in, making quite a bit of noise, ( in the garden, that is! )…so, open all the windows & let that fine Tahoe air come flooding in… Ahhh… what an adventure… I spoke to my son in law, Philipp, this morning to bring all these unfortunate circumstances to his attention, as he & Jessica & the grandaughters are supposed to be coming next week for a holiday… so, they may be postponing… Utterly disappointing, but, quite understandable… We’re going to stay in touch… but, to be honest, even if they catch & relocate these two naughty buggers, there are plenty more roaming around this neck of the woods… Anyway… I promised you that I would let you know how everything is… so… we survived another night in bear country!!!

8/3/2007 3:56:55 PM

I have people walking around the ol’ ranch, keeping an eye on things, so I could relax somewhat & go & sing… ( roar, actually )… after being unable to do anything other than be concerned this past, mad week… & I’ve just had a whole shitload of fun doing it… OOO- ER!!!… FYI… There was a 660 Ilb bear sadly shot yesterday after breaking into somebody’s home in the village… God Knows what I would have done had HE decided to walk in unannounced!… Poor baby… It wasn’t either of the two whom have been enjoying my pool & fridge… I spoke with the fabled ‘Bear Guy’… the famous & SOLE bear specialist in the entire State Of Nevada, Carl Lackey & we agreed that relocating is the best policy, if possible… He told me that once a bear has successfully broken into a home, it is more than likely he will do repeatedly until stopped… ( sigh )… Just so some of you know… we are very aware that these amazing animals have an incredible gift to sniff out anything remotely tasty from a great distance so, we leave as little to chance as we can…& no…there are no essential oils laying around… no bird feeders… no pet food… & our trash cans are as safe as we can make them… It’s the simple fact that this year there is more bear activity & interaction in this area recently than has been known before… The bloody squirrels are scarfing all the doughnuts in the bear trap… so, my ever so large, furry new friends aren’t being remotely seduced… BUGGER!… No BBQ for us again this weekend!!!…, If Jasper hadn’t told me, relatively calmly, about the noises in the pool area, I don’t know what would have transpired… I am a VERY proud Dad… He’s a wonderful, brave young man… We are doing our best not to go into ‘fear’ over this… & at this time have no intention of leaving our home… Jaz & Cindy are going to LA this weekend anyway… & I’ll be getting on with some work, I hope… So… life goes on… somewhat crookedly… but… it is what it is right now, & we are dealing with it as a Family & doing the best we can with fantastic help from the local authorities…

8/5/2007 7:34:56 AM

We caught one!… As I type there is a beautiful, sad eyed bear inside the trap… ( so much for me scaring them off!.. Jaz said he had never heard me cuss so much! )… This isn’t the one I chased out of the house… It may be the first one that came for bearfast… sorry… BREAKFAST with dC… but, I can’t be sure… I called Carl the ‘Bear Guy’ immediately & he’s on his way… He has promised me he/she will be relocated far, far away… ( I hope so… this hasn’t been one of our better weeks )… The bear is very calm sitting inside the trap… I can’t help feeling saddened by all this… tho’ I must say this hasn’t been a fun ride… I took some pix, but, you can’t really see inside very well… I’ll ask Poor Albert to put them on the site… By the way… the bear in the pool on the BBC report is not ‘our’ bear… & quite honestly, I don’t think I would have been standing there taking happy snaps while Yogi did the backstroke!… OK… I have to help Cindy & Jaz get off to the airport… I’ll stay in touch…

8/5/2007 8:17:19 AM

Incidentally… I feel it important to clarify…when I say bear trap…please do not for one moment imagine that this is something that is harming the animal…It’s NOT a device that snaps it’s ankle, or cause it discomfort in any way…It’s a HUGE cylinder that the bear climbs into while eating his way inside…when he gets to the end there’s a bag of food hanging on a chain…when he pulls on it the trap door slides down & locks him in… No pain at all… just imprisoned… the poor bugger… I’m already feeling bad about this… I hope the Bear Guys get here soon… He/she looks about 400 llbs… ( probably 300 )… Oh… I just spoke to Carl The Bear Chappie… he’s on his way… here in about an hour & a half… I believe he may be bringing another trap… Looks like we are going to be busy for a while…

Learn about Carl Lackey here

8/5/2007 10:42:05 AM

This is AMAZING!…Unfortunately…it isn’t our bear!…The Bear Guy, Carl, thinks it’s a young female…so, I am helping him…( tho’ I refused categorically to take her temperature…)…Pretty wild!…We’ve just tranquilized her…then he’s going to tag her… take DNA samples, etc… I try to take some snaps…Man…this is quite the adventure for a wee lad from Yorkshire!…OK…I gotta go…

8/5/2007 10:43:14 AM

By the way…she is BEAUTIFUL!!!…( or he…I think I’ll leave it to Carl to check for the sexual orientation! )…I waaay too shy! …It’s a SHE… 8/5/2007 11:05:59 AM She’s about 12 years old…Carl’s caught her before…in Carson City in 2002…Her tag’s been ripped off…Her teeth are pretty bad…he said that’s normal for a bear in the wild…It doesn’t look like she’s into garbage…I said how appropriate for OUR bear!…Elegant, she is, I tell you!…Anyway…I’m taking some happy snaps…she’s going to have a bad hangover when she wakes up…but, then again…we’ve ALL been there before!…So…it looks like we’ll have to maintain having the bear trap here to try & snag OUR actual bears…This is definately not one of the two…This is a BROWN bear…not too big…normal size, according to the Bear Guy…( Cue The Music!!! )…Gotta go…still helping out…Luv, dC

8/5/2007 11:52:23 AM

You are not going to believe this!…Carl…( who is a great, professional & genuinely caring guy )…& I are taking care of business with the brown bear…who is blissfully unconscious…when suddenly, his bear dogs Stryker and Rooster start growling…I looked at Carl…he looked at me…he was nowhere near his rifle…then…cool as you like…my BIG black beauty walks around the corner on my deck!…With constantly pulling the female into the shade as the morning sun was rapidly rising we found ourselves at least 20 feet from his truck & all we needed if we had to defend ourselves…Carl crept over released his beautiful Karelian dogs who went straight for the bear…the bear tried to get away but, ended up cornered…Then he pushed past the dogs when Carl hit him with pepper spray…( another must have in this environment )…then he climbed…I shit thee not…at least 200 feet up one of my trees!…& there he remains…guarded by the dogs…a couple of sheriffs…Bill Campbell & Pete Lee…& a very watchful Carl armed with a very potent tranquilizer dart gun poised & ready…Now…we have to wait ’til he comes down…So much for my Sunday nap!…Oh…he also took out another 2 screen doors…making a total of 8…Still…he/she’s a beauty…Man…this is Action Central today!!!

Learn about Karelian Dogs here

8/5/2007 12:24:47 PM

We just got the black beauty!…The sheriffs kept shooting at him with rubber bullets ’til it climbed down the tree close enough for Carl to shoot it with the tranquilizer dart…It had an almost immediate effect…The bear fell 40 feet onto a bed of pine cones…This is definitely our bear…This is an extraordinary experience…tho’…once is enough, I assure you…I think I need a drink…

8/5/2007 1:06:08 PM

I was going to go & see the new ‘Bourne Ultimatum’ movie…but, I think I’ve had enough excitement for one day…I keep bursting out laughing at the madness of it all…Surreal…This is stuff you read about OTHER people doing…or watching on the National Geographic Channel…Oh oh…there I go again…I’m cracking up as I type this stuff, Gang…I better go & lie down…Carl has just left with his two, incredibly brave dogs…Finnish Karellian, I believe…&, of course, two beautiful bears…one in the bear trap…the other in his truck…I think he’s mad…but, I thank God for him…I thanked him profusely for the adventure…He had me holding the first bears mouth open so he could tattoo it with the date…then help tag it…Lifting it’s head to get a blood sample…& it was then…Just wait ’til you see the pix…I just spoke to Cindy…she is amazed all this has taken place while her & Jaz where flying to LA…Oh…I’m laughing again…I’m off my trolley, I think…Too much fun for a mature Yorkshire lad…My sincere gratitude to all the sheriffs who came & helped us out thro’ this astonishing time…Peter & Bill…Nice one, Guys!…An absolute honourable mention in dispatches must also go to Sgt Mike Wright, Deputy Joe Durbin for keeping a watchful eye on my home & family thro’ this rather trying time…Now…back to breathing easier…& recording my new album…What an incredible adventure…